March 2018 - Van Life Part 6: When The Cowpat Hits The Van

from by Kimwei

/

lyrics

When the cowpat hits the van, remember folks, a poo story a day keeps everyone with a sense of smell away. Today’s pause is about a low point in my alternative van dwelling lifestyle. During heavy rain, believing myself to have found the right Dartmoor gate for my journey, I opened it, drove up the dirt track and directly INTO A COWPAT bigger than the van itself, and I have to admit, I was almost sunk. I’d inadvertently driven into a disused dairy farm composed entirely of what comes out of cows. 
 
I wondered if I would be sunk. With no-one else around, would this be the end? Had the proverbial finally hit the fanbelt? I was in it deep. Should I back and forth, revving furiously? Should I open the window and leap for my life, leaving my van shaped home and all my worldly possessions to sink into a herbivores post gastronomical abyss. 
 
No. I fought. And after much backing and forthing, drove out heroically, “steaming” with pride. 
 
I had NEVER seen the van so filthy! I opened the window and it was even falling in FROM THE ROOF! I dared not get out. I was just feeling pleased with myself for getting “off pat”, when I realised that the power steering didn’t work anymore. 
 
Needless to say, this was a low point for me. I could imagine haters saying “this wouldn’t have happened if you’d just rented a flat. It’s your own fault. This never happens to anyone’s house.” 
 
But then I remember living in a house. It’s not like nothing ever went wrong then. Remember that time a pipe burst and the loft flooded and we didn’t find out until it started dripping into the toaster. Having an exceptionally bad day is available in all walks of life. The important thing to me is this: the challenges I face are part of the life I’ve chosen. In other words, the cowpat we step in on the path to our dreams, smells the sweetest. 

credits

from Pause For Thought: BBC Radio Devon, released January 30, 2017

license

all rights reserved

tags

If you like Kimwei, you may also like: